Dining with the Portuguese

Why don’t the Portuguese invite foreigners into their homes? Through the years this questions has always been a topic of debate. Some say it’s due to lack of self-esteem ( ours or theirs?) , others say lack of language ( ours or  theirs?). Others say ” Why should they invite us?” I broke the invitation barrier twice this week. I spent last Tuesday evening in the home of my Portuguese ” family”. There Don and I dined and drank with all native Portuguese except for us. The conversations  were the same as when we socialize:  happiness, sadness, problems , solutions. One gentleman confided his despair over his son’s career choice; another woman glowed after the birth of her first child. The main point is that we were not outcasts at all. It was a great evening. The longer I am here the more integrated I feel. The second evening was last Wednesday when our gym, The Health Club Visconte had their holiday dinner at the Cascais Cultural Center ( the same venue where Americans in Portugal had their lunch that day!). The dinner was called for 9 pm. I was told no one would arrive before 9.30. I came at about  9.40 and found a seat with one woman I knew from my stretch class. She speaks only Portuguese butwe had a fascinating talk about her work and family life. Dinner started at 10. I left at 11.30 and dessert was just beginning! Therein lies a big cultural difference. I am not at all sure how the Latins can stay up so late and still function (well)  the next morning. I had a great time and realized the next morning that I was the only foreigner there among 80  others. Maybe it’s our fault, not theirs?

As Far as the Eye Can’t See

My Portuguese neighbor came over yesterday with an amazing tale:
” I broke my eyeglasses and went to CascaiShopping to have them fixed. At MultiOpticas they told me it would be just as expensive to fix them as to buy a new pair. So after shopping around I found the least expensive pair would cost me €720. “

I was astounded at the price, but my American friend had the identical experience and told me the lens part ( he has several corrections in his prescription) cost him €600. Then he added the frame to reach a tally well over €700 too.

Back to my neighbor, who, fortunately, could afford the new glasses. He asked the optician how the average Portuguese, on what we know are very minimal salaries, could afford eye glasses.

” They can’t,” was the answer. And then she added, ” Lack of proper vision accounts for the majority of the traffic accidents in Portugal.”

Drivers  beware.

Can you help?

Estoril Film Festival

I just came home from attending a press conference with Francis Ford Coppola. Imagine! He came to Estoril to attend the 3rd annual Estoril Film Festival from November 5-15. Did you know anything about this prestigious event? I sure didn’t until a gentleman casually mentioned it three weeks ago at a dinner party. Trying to get information was harder than learning Chinese ( sort of). Finally I found their website: www.estoril-filmfestival.com and applied for a press pass. When I arrived this Sunday morning I was shocked that I got a parking space so easily. Inside, the huge Estoril Congress Center was empty. Ten minutes before Coppola’s press conference Portuguese journalists tricked in, mainly photographers. Coppola arrived twenty minutes late ( good thing or he would have seen an empty room) and then graciously and openly answered both personal and professional questions. The session lasted 40 minutes. Portuguese photographers have no sense of protocol or boundaries. Like undisciplined children they snap away non-stop into the eyes of their subject. I wonder how many photos they need to take for the ” perfect ” picture. Later,  I spoke to the one woman who asked a decent question. She was from the BIO channel and told me, ” This is a disgrace. Here we have such an important man and the only attendees at this conference and the films are students. ” When will Portugal ever learn to publicize its great events?

Customer Service in Portugal

Do you think customer service has improved in Portugal? I do! Here are some examples: Clinica Cuf Cascais; Heath Club Visconde; Medis; Millenium Bank. What do you think?

Pitching In

James Blades, St. Dominic’s student, helps in the Global Initiative Abano Beach Cleanup , September 26. Over 80 people came out for the event, a huge success. Mark March 20, 2010 on your calendars: Country-wide Cleanup Day.

Happiness in Lisbon

Congratulations to WIN Productions and its main sponsor Janseen-Cilag Pharmaceuticals for sponsoring the 2009 Happy Conference in Lisbon on September 21. Three friends and I attended the conference held in the Tivoli Theater to a packed audience of over 700. The event was impeccably organized and presented. I never saw Portugal function so well. It was a world class event with Harvard Psychology Professor Tal Ben-Shahar talking about the science of happiness, stress reduction, learning and well-being in families. The information was not new, but it was well packaged. He enthralled the audience and convinced me that ” Happiness, independent thinking, self-esteem, and hard work are all commodities within our reach and vital to a well functioning family, classroom and society. ” I wrote an email to the group after the conference. ” You, the young and dynamic leaders who organized this positive conference, are the hope for Portugal’s future.” www.happyconference.org

Changing Times

Changing Times

At 9.15 pm on Monday evening I went into the health food store Jardim Verde in CascaisVilla Shopping Center. The young woman working there ( alone) helped me find my items and was ringing them up at the register. I noticed a man walk into the store and then leave, but nothing seemed unnatural. Just as I was about to walk out of the store, three huge security guards came in holding a 30ish aged man, thin and shaking. They told him to open his shirt. I stood there in awe…and in fear. Cascais has always seemed so “protected” and safe. Inside his shirt I saw that he had sewn in pockets and then the guards told him to take out the numerous products (shampoos, aloe vera, face creams) that he had just stolen from the store while the woman was competing my purchase. He also had items in plastic that the guards told us were from Jumbo or Pingo Doce. Then the man kept pleading that we let him go. He looked at the girl and me and we saw needle marks on his arms. Then the security guard asked the woman what she wanted to do with the man. She didn’t know and, wisely, called her boss. The owner said “Let him go.” Then the man left with the guards. I think they went to Pingo Doce because there I saw several policemen.

My first instinct also was, “Let him go.” However, I’ve thought a lot about the incident and now I think rehab would have been a better option. There is a recent article in the Economist about Portugal’s successful handling of addicts via rehab vs. prison. If you read the article, also read the comments beneath it. The link:

http://www.economist.com/world/europe/displaystory.cfm?story_id=14309861

I spoke to one of the security guards as I was about to leave the center. He told me he has never seen these people with knives or guns in CCVilla, which was my fear. He said they steal to sell the items and then use the money for drugs. I feel sorry for the man and gratitude that I have chosen a different path for my life.

What would you have done if you were the store owner?

Waiting and texting on the road

Antonio Capucho, the Cascais Mayor, now running for re-election, has done a terrific job of routing traffic out of Cascais. But driving in is a different story. Yesterday, at 6.30 pm, it took me 35 minutes to get from Monte Estoril to the center of Cascais via the Marginal. I’m not sure if the problem is the fancy new apartments he’s licensed ( who can afford them in this economy?), or the two-lane road now out dated, overcrowded and often blocked by an overheated car or an accident caused by some cell phone talking driver. The USA is now running a vivid, terrifying ad about the dangers of texting while driving. A young woman takes her eyes off the road to send a text message, hits an oncoming car, and causes a horrific crash killing her, her two passengers and the driver of the oncoming car. Statistics show it’s more dangerous to text and drive than to drink and drive. Maybe it’s time for new roads and new laws to keep up with the times.

Settling In

Settling Into  Portugal

There is a positive side to coming home. I returned to Portugal, not the USA. I’ve always craved the exotic, and while Cascais isn’t Shanghai, there’s enough “different” here to satisfy my foreign cravings. In fact, I walk more, as I did in China, and my senses are on high alert. I notice signs that used to flash by; smell flowers that passed as street decorations; speak to Portuguese with renewed interest. Even my bank feels better. I walked in to Caixa Geral in Cascais last Thursday. Before I entered the cold cavern of lines and tellers, I was stopped by two twenty somethings, well uniformed and smiling, (a characteristic I often miss in the Portuguese). “Can we help you?” one said, with customer service high on her agenda. They are the new gatekeepers of the state bank. Then I noticed CGD’s new campaign, “ Soluções para Residentes no Estrangeiro.” ( Solutions for Residents Abroad)The flyers and large poster in the bank entry show the famous fado singer Mariza on her cell phone in a foreign city, not in Portugal. The campaign bothered me: Portugal is experiencing enough of a brain drain as young professionals are leaving the country to work and make their living abroad. With salaries here some of the lowest, or the lowest, in Europe, most who leave, have no choice. Even the gas station attendant in Estoril told me, “I’m leaving in October. I found work in Belgium. My wife and child will follow me after I’m settled. “He said he didn’t want to leave the Portugal he loves, but he can’t support his family here. So, Portugal loses another, not an intellectual (they leave too), but a service-oriented, ambitious young man who’s looked ahead and seen a better life elsewhere. I feel protective of Portugal. So I wonder: why does the state bank glamorize people leaving the country, or at least make it easy for them to have Portugal away from home? A better campaign would be, “Make it, save it and spend it in Portugal.”

Who’s Writing for the Mayor?

Maybe Mayor Capucho feels the same. Last week I saw a sign promoting the new Cascais hospital which will open in 2010 near CascaiShopping. (Congratulations to Mayor Capucho, the only person who got the hospital built.). But beneath the glossy picture of the new structure, IN ENGLISH, it says, “Health of the new generation” First, why is it in English? Second, what does the slogan mean? I’ve played around with all possible prepositions to see what the Mayor, or his PR firm, intend. Does he mean health for the new generation? But then what about Portugal’s aging, who make up the bulk of its people? Or maybe health to the new generation, means the hospital will deliver health to all. Or maybe, it’s that the hospital will give new generation health care to all. And if that’s the case, Bem Vindo! ( Welcome!)